Something Sick Made Funny Somehow..If you have a weak stomach don't read this!

I found myself with a nasty cold this week, thankfully given to me from my germ magnet, Richie. Just about an hour ago I was sitting here coughing to death. I mean non-stop. As I coughed I started spewing, puking, vomiting, or whatever you want to call it...as I lay here now it brings back a fond memory. The memory is trapped in a comment as it was a large one!

Do you have bitchy neighbors like this? Assholes! Everyone has one! How bad can it get?

I had to put the rest of my bitch in a comment because it was too much for my blog to handle:)I have lived in the same house for 13 years. My father lived here eight before his death. I have had troubles with my dam neighbors to the right of me since I have lived here! I will list them and please tell me I am not just getting pissed over nothing! There are many, many, more stories to tell but here are the worst of the worst!
1. Accused me of throwing fish heads in their yard.
2. Called the city on my Toyota I had spent 2600.00 on 4 months prior and then it blew another part of the engine. I couldn’t afford to fix right away so it sat in the driveway in which it was towed and never seen again.
3. They called animal control on a dog I had that during breeding season he would jump over the fence and roam until we found him.
4. My daughter had a fund raiser and they were the only ones that ordered something from her. The product (wrapping paper costing 7.50) was discontinued and my daughter was going to return her check from school to her. She (my neighbor) met me out front when taking my daughter to school and she asked about her check. I explained we would bring it over that evening. Meanwhile, they called my daughters' school and spoke to her teacher. (What an invasion of school policy to even speak with my neighbor) The principle called during this day and asked that I please give them their check back for 7.50. I was appalled! What the hell were they thinking to call the school? That evening we gave back the check. Bitch!
5. I am always running around barking orders to my children about taking out the trash and one day I had been confused on what day it was. I thought it was garbage day. However, it was a day early and they called the city that came out and asked why we put it out the day before garbage day? I explained that it was garbage day (thinking it was the day for garbage pickup) and he left me with a warning.
6. One garbage day our trash had spilled out of one can. The dam neighbor asked my son to pick it up (She must of meant right dam now!) and he attempted it before he was called by us to get in the car because we needed to grocery shop. When we returned home there had come a knock on the door! It was a officer of the law (a cop in a cop car) feeling a little embarrassed that he was called for this; but explained they had called because our trash had spilled! Bitches!
7. We had a rather large dog I had saved from the pound. One day the animal control came and said he was too skinny. (Hanz was his name and this dog ran a track around our back yard) He never stopped. So, we were told to take him to the vet. We did. The vet said he is not mal nourished at all. He asked if he was very active and we explained he never stops running except to get water some days! So, we turned in the vet report and they left Hanz alone.
8. Of course, I had several calls about cars that were in our backyard. At most, two cars to be exact. One was not even ours it was my brothers who only left it for three days. My brother came and retrieved his car. However, my husband’s antique car that needed a whole new gas tank was towed off to never be seen again.

Skinny Bitches... You got to love the chunky ones too! Are you a skinny bitch or just a fat bitch needing to be squeezed?

Do you bitchers find this offensive? What the hell? Do people really like this shit? Let me know what you think?

Nikolai Valuev! A 7 foot Russian! Not really my thing but, one of my blogger friends suggested he looks like his dog! Not sure if he even has one but great fight! If he had a dog that looked like him...What kind of dog would it be?

How long would you stay in a marriage with a cheater?

My parents stayed married for 17 years. My mother is the one who had an affair. In my opinion they should of divorced long before she cheated. They stayed together for us children. What really is bitching is us children wanted them to divorce 7 years prior. We wouldn't have cared at all. It would have been better than watching her cheat and my dad driving us in the middle of the night to a night club 50 miles away. At the night club we had seen her car and her dancing with a handsome looking man. She said she was at Bingo! I forgive my parents as that was long in the past. But, my dad never remarried because he couldn't forgive her until is death. What a bitch to deal with until death. He always loved her!

Let's talk about simple pleasures you have in your life? Do you have a story to tell?

One simple pleasure I have is laughing at my children. They do silly stuff like jumping off the roof! Sure they were in trouble for it...But I do remember the fire department had to come get me off because I was afraid to go back down the ladder. It was a suprise for my parents when they came home to a fire truck! With this memory comes laughter from times past.